Discomfort Isn’t the Enemy 🧠
"In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." — Deepak Chopra
"Growth feels uncomfortable because you're leaving behind who you thought you were."
When I started Shadow work, I genuinely thought I’d just “fix a few things.” You know, tweak some habits, smooth over the rough patches, keep the same personality but better.
What actually happened felt more like demolition.
There were moments I sat on the floor of my bathroom, head in hands, eyes burning, wondering who the hell I even was anymore.
I wasn’t reacting the way I used to. I wasn’t laughing at the same jokes. I couldn’t tolerate the same conversations, the same dynamics, the same masks.
And that wasn’t liberating at first.
It was terrifying.
Because when you start growing, what no one tells you is this… you're not just building someone new. You're letting someone go.
And often, that “someone” is the version of you who kept you safe.
Who people liked.
Who didn’t rock the boat.
Who learned how to survive by playing a role.
And walking away from that feels like betrayal. Even when it's exactly what you need to do.
Here’s a prompt to ground yourself when growth feels like disorientation:
“Which parts of me are grieving who I used to be—and which parts are quietly relieved I’m not that person anymore?”
Let both voices speak.
The part that misses the comfort of old habits.
And the part that’s quietly proud you’ve outgrown them.
This is not regression. It’s integration.
You’re allowed to feel lost. That’s how you know you’ve stepped off the script.
"In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." — Deepak Chopra
And sometimes what you find doesn’t feel familiar. That’s because you’re meeting yourself for the first time without your disguise on.
Have you ever changed so much you didn’t recognize yourself anymore?
Maybe people around you noticed too, and didn’t know how to relate. Or maybe you felt lonely, like you were walking away from the only version of you anyone ever accepted.
Let’s talk about that middle place, the ache between who you were and who you’re becoming.
You’re not alone in the awkwardness.
Let’s normalize the mess of becoming.
Growth isn’t some Pinterest-worthy journey with a neat before-and-after.
It’s identity confusion. It’s grief. It’s losing your taste for chaos but not quite knowing how to enjoy peace yet.
It’s the middle.
And the middle is where the real work happens.
So if you feel raw right now, tender, unsure, like your skin doesn’t fit, it means you’re right on schedule.
You're not falling apart. You're falling into alignment.
Keep going. I’m with you.
To Yolanda, B, and Monica….
Thank you so much for the coffees. Seriously. That little gesture landed big.
Whether you meant it as encouragement, support, or just a quiet “I see you” — I felt it. And it kept me going.
So here’s my reply: I see you, too. And I’m grateful.
With appreciation (and a very caffeinated heart),
— Ryan Puusaari ☕💛
Thank you for reading today’s Healing Text.
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You're so welcome, Ryan! I'm here whenever you need to reach out to someone. I know we don't know each other very well, but your pain resonates with me because I've left so much behind, and it continues to hurt. It's hard to step away completely from the past because even though you're becoming someone new, the past always creeps up on you, and you may find yourself in tears...like me.